Amanda would have been turning one today. She was due on January 13, 2008 and this would have been such a joyous day for us. Despite these sad feelings, I am also feeling a sense of accomplishment. I have made it through my first year without Amanda. No more "This would have been Amanda's first ______." I don't know how I have survived this first year but I have done it, and I am almost relieved. Going forward I will of course never forget about my beautiful daughter but the raw emotions will hopefully be less. I will be able to think of Amanda without crying as much and think of her as my personal angel who is watching over me and with me every day. This past year has been one of the hardest years I have and hopefully ever will have to experience. I feel as though I have grown through my grieving and have a deeper understanding and appreciation for life and what truely is important. Amanda has showed me how strong I am as a person, and has given me a deeper sense of compassion towards others who have traveled this tragic road of grief. I hope to someday help others who have suffered like me, so that they know they are not alone. I also want to thank Amanda for watching over her little brother AJ who is expected to arrive any day now. It will be bittersweet as I will long to hold both my children in my arms together. However I know someday I will be reunited with Amanda and that wish will come true. Until then I will carry on keeping Amanda in my heart and mind, and keeping her memory alive to others that love her as well. We miss and love you Amanda!